Ten Things I've learned on the way to 40
I'm 41, Ok I'm 42, but on this very bumpy road to 40, which most people would agree is an important milestone, I've learned some key things that my parents never taught me.
They didn't teach me these things because they couldn't. Some things you just get to find out for yourself.
Here is my list:
1. True friends make mistakes. If you are past the teenage years, you already know that true friends are rare. By the time I got to 40, my real friends, the people who accepted me for me, were whittled down to 3 people.
We've had our disagreements over the years, sometimes really big ones, but the value of a real friendship is more important to me than any difference of opinion- This brings me to my next point:
2. You get what you give.This is a Universal Law that has been expressed in many different words. I've learned that if you want a true friend then you have to be a true friend.
If you want love in your life, then you have give love away. This is NOT a deal you make with the Universe. You are not giving to get. You are giving because it is who you've become. In so doing, things come back to you, multiplied.
3. As a person, I'm constantly evolving. This can only take place though, if I'm willing to honesty look at myself and adjust the things that do not work for me. There is no end to this process. There is also no failure in this process.
4.Relationships are mirrors. All relationships are mirrors of who I am. I have found this to be especially true of intimate relationships. I have over the years, attracted to myself the people who best bring up in me, the Issues I'm dealing with at the time. This lesson, when I finally figured it out, was a real epiphany. This knowledge, finally freed me from a state of Victimhood and the ever popular "why me?" mentality.
It also meant real forgiveness for the men in my life, who I felt, gave me a raw deal. I should say Thanks instead. So Thank You..
5. All I have is Now. The present moment is the only thing that I have. The past is gone forever and the future just doesn't exist. I spent too much of my time thinking about the past,( which has its value if you can let it go after you've got the lessons), and hoping for a particular future.
The Now- The present moment can be enjoyed to the fullest and sets up the elusive future anyway.
6 I can control what I think about. For some reason, I felt for a very long time, that I couldn't control my thoughts. This meant in essence, that I was being controlled by my run away, noisy mind chatter. It is possible to turn it off. It is possible to change a thought if it makes me feel bad.
Thought Energy is just as real as form (matter) and in fact determines it. This means that I can co-create in this Universe the things that I desire. It means that I sometimes co-create the things that I say I don't want. How? By thinking about it and giving it the energy it needs to manifest.
At this moment, I'm obsessing on a big plate of curried crab and macaroni pie. I wonder how long before it's in front of me? ;-)
7. This one I'll get pounded on for but.. Religion is just a map. This is always a touchy subject and that's the point. There is a saying that: "the finger pointing to the moon is not the moon" I've learned that ALL religion is the finger pointing (hopefully) to the moon. If I have a map to get to heaven, and that map is beautifully laid out with bright colours, clear symbols and accurate information, I'll probably use it, however it would be useless to a blind man. He probably will need another map. A map that is useful to him and his situation.
I prefer to live according to Universal Laws. Kindness, Compassion, Forgiveness not to mention Silence.
The Universe applies the same laws to everybody. There is no preferential treatment. We are all blessed and highly favoured.
8. The Divine is expressed in many ways. God and the God Force are words. The people who best worship God may never even say the word God. They can however, produce beautiful art or compose music that demonstrates the Divine in them. There are, I imagine, countless ways of expressing the Divine, thereby praising the Most High without singing hymns or listening to a sermon on Sunday.
I've tried to move away from the narrow-mindedness of this World that seems to want to dictate who/ what God is.
9. Allow people to be. I've taken an approach just sit back and allow my friends/ colleagues and family members just be who they are.I've recognised over the years that I can't change anybody, but I can change the way I react to them. Over the years, this has also meant cutting people out of my life who prove that they cannot or will not respect the boundaries that I've set up for myself in my own life.
This also means accepting that in spite of how kind I might be, how much I try to live by higher values, there will always be people who I offend, people who simply must try to discredit or cut me down.
I know, that this reaction has nothing to do with me, but is fueled by their own issues.
10. Your desire and your prayers are the same thing. Ask and it is given, not sometimes- but everytime. A bold statement indeed. I believe this wholeheartedly. The asking is not with my words, it is with my Energy.
I've learned a thing or two about prayers and about energy. It changes your life, this knowledge.
Wanting or desiring something affects the way I am "seen" by the Universe. I am affected at the level of energy. This is why if I ask for something in words, but I'm thinking the opposite, then I get the opposite.
Prayers therefore, are a refocusing of energy and it not just that you pray for something, but you pray something into being.
This does not negate God. It means for me, that I must work with the Most High when I pray.
It's a step away (far away) from the Vendor Machine concept of God that I find most people preach.
So there it is... just 10 things and I'm sure I could think of 100 more, but you have your own discovering to do.
